Identity, the most consuming ideal during an age of lost souls. We have been raised coveting those great in their fields, the influential, the great and magnanimous; at heart, the different. So appealing is this position in society that we hastily scavenge our soul for the framework of what we could become.
In our haste, we lose ourselves
The fear of ostracization is destroyed at its roots, and we graft instead a manufactured state in its place. This fragile human template we fill with borrowed labels we wish to grow into.
I am a drummer and a chef, says the man who so limits his being to material actions, fulfilled in mere demonstration. More dangerous is the man who says "I am important, my existence is NECESSARY"
When we are alone, stripped of an audience, and lose our ability to perform, does not our human framework disappear? So stripped of our pedestrian labels, the things we so love to boast of at dinner tables and parties, that we have left nothing but those roots of fear growing ever deeper. Such an insecure form we create for ourselves to stand behind, and watch crumble, again and again; a horrifying eternal recurrence.
In the same way we feel failed by others when they cannot fill our desires, we feel failure when not fulfilling our own manufactured images desires.
There is no greater heartbreak than ones own unfulfilled identity.
How can we then can we Reason with ourselves when we are at our base, when we are nothing but human? What do we grasp onto when our tangled overgrowth of identity does not hold a stable foundation of our actions, feelings and desires?
Here we find the genesis of a beautiful, dramatic existence. Instead of losing our mind in baseless castles in the sky, we must deal only with that which is inevitable and true. By freeing ourselves from any standard of failure, we permit for ourselves Everything.
Fear, lust, joy, sewing, cooking, dreaming, longing, love, disgust, the whole spectrum of humanity appears before us. All equally valuable and important. No longer are we scared of guiding our soul to fit our ideal life, we simply manifest what appears as important. We act on the inevitability of our hearts desires, for the path it chooses for us is both arbitrary and necessary.
We cannot succeed. We can only be honest.
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The title of this upcoming work shall be, as stated "nicht nur mich", not only me.
The heavenly, irrational force known as devotion holds within it a doctrine of being which so overpowers all we wish to be for the sake of what we are. When held dear to our hearts, with a sensitive touch and beat into submission, it allows us truth. It is our question and our answer; our enemy and our sword.
As the title encompasses, my devotion is to the humans i see decorating this earth. The ones who allowed me space in their lives, those who made cafes, street corners, parks, and concerts my home. To have wandered alone, as I so often do, and found so many outstretched arms and open doors is for me an enchanting miracle. However, this devotion of mine, as I have seen, is seemingly shared by few. Those who are satisfied with their born and chosen families, seem to close off their own hearts, and cease to seek place in any new home.
The shadows of complacency
Cast by the light of love
I cannot help But see them
on sunken walls
And empty halls
As ever impending torture
As absurd of a position it is, I am unable to reconcile comfort and complacency in a world so begging of change. It is so foolish of me to be dissenting of their fulfilled journey, but my souls insatiability cannot understand its own loneliness in its pursuits. I speak of devotion of course, as truth, and in doing so I cannot ignore the ceaseless unrest, constant confusion and disappointment I feel when stepping foot outside my door. I have seen beauty fill the world with light, and yet the encroaching shadows are all that seem inevitable.
Thus, as naively as one could be, I speak into existence the depths of experience I see around me. For I do not believe I can make any other choice. As is my devotion, I hope to speak to these problems which concern all souls, not only me.
As ironically placed as it is, after this sunken introduction, I cannot help but share the folly of blind cynicism. A heartless escapade into isolation and despondency. Blindness to ones own fear makes correct any absurd assertion of the world a welcoming comfort, one that becomes necessary to the self's continuation.
So the spiral begins
Lost, a soul falls
Saved, a soul regains balance
Lost, a soul has no bounds
Saved, a soul is powerful
Doomed is a soul to repeat
Deposed from the throne of agreement with the predominant collective consciousness, one has no recourse lest to assert the ostracizing force as incorrect, immoral, and baseless. How could one not assert their own importance, for it is impossible to have anything besides the self; it would be a cosmic joke for the self to be inherently deficient of what is asserted as base function. We shall forever say, "if I do not matter, they are nothing." Further and further this assertion sinks us, past the souls rational depths and into the devoid abyss.
The minds deceptive nature grasps helplessly onto these ideas, and creates a truth of a flawed reality. Though we are tricked into an all encompassing critique, one that cannot be argued against, it must seem obvious that this view is extended far beyond any hope of being useful. Thus is the crux of social competition, we are doomed to forever live within a human landscape no matter how abhorrent it appears to us.
Claims based on the self's own understanding of the world rather than reality seem to inevitably lead us astray. There is only so much idealistic delusion one can find comfort in before their understanding shatters. While a wholly unique viewpoint is glorified by many famous thinkers before us, it must be limited in order to be useful in any capacity.
A cynical view of the world cannot be wholly wrong, for it is the truth that one finds, but when it is devoid of any worldly evidence, it breeds nothing but ignorance and hatred. Overcoming blind cynicism is possibly the most important development for any mind inclined to critique. Dissension against order allows one not only to learn, but inspire the change they so desperately crave. However, this critique is rendered meaningless when lacking common worldly truth.
(Ryans note, i was so burnt out writing this it mmay be nonsense, it need to be read over later)
Seemingly lost are the radical days, the ones so caught up in passionate conformity, which made inevitable such beautiful rebellion.
Kant asserts in the Critique of Pure Reason that as humans, we act disingenuously for the collective good, but inevitably realize that the rules we thought were arbitrary are really fundamental morals that we need to uphold, not merely practical rules for a cohesive society. In this line of thinking, the societal structures we uphold appear to us as fundamental beliefs that we cannot do without. Manners, customs, duties, religion, and all kinds of human restriction have been devoutly upheld institutions for the entirety of humanity. Seemingly, it is human nature to live a life devoted to these forces, for they allow us commonality, and because they appear to us as moral codes, justification of our actions. Ideas like the social contract speak to this sacrifice, and assert that absolute freedom is not not conducive to any sort of structure. Putting greater goods above ones own desire is the essential cornerstone to society. In return, we gain power, comfort, and the capacity for truth. Here, the moral relativist laughs, for they say the truth that exists in these cultures is still entirely arbitrary. Though this is a powerful critique, there is no other way for us to reconcile our base desire for truth than to live with devotion, accept the sacrifice, and live lives without the existential question of truth infecting even our smallest beliefs.
A conflict between cultures is often a conflict of truth, and what could be more terrifying than having ones own truth attacked. Thus, in order to hold certain beliefs, we must necessarily exclude other ones, and do so with the deepest passion of the soul. As much as one wishes to love and accept unquestioningly, only by focusing can we uphold truth and importance of our own values. How then, can we reconcile the beauty created by devoted and passionate cultures with the hate that so often arises out of it's inherent exclusivity?
We beg for answers, and we kill to be right.
It seems that the modern sensibility would stand against all hatred; a display of dogmatic acceptance which attempts to remove cultural distinction. Where does this leave us? With all permitted, and all celebrated, we cannot ascribe importance anywhere. In dispensing with hatred, we seem to have dispensed too with passion. The modern devotion to acceptance demonizes any sort of disagreement or individuality, and in order to be accepted into this culture, one must always side with the more accepting view, for if they disagree they have already lost. Thus, dogmatic belief spreads far and wide, policed by those who wish to uphold this unquestioned freedom and acceptance.
Blind belief can never serve humans well, for our inherent differences are what make every single one of us important. Because of this, the rejection of any system that perpetuates conformity is necessary to allow for individuality, passion, and beauty in cultures. This has been shown time and time again in groups that take a stand against the status quo, so called counter cultures. In America, the beat generation, the hippies, the punks, were all groups that flourished from a rejection of their overarching culture. Even those devoted to order had conviction to uphold it, thus forcing these counter cultures to rebel against an equally powerful force, one that did not share their beliefs, but did share their passion. From this conflict sprung art, love, passion, community, and something which is becoming oft disregarded, the intrigue of life in the world. This is not to say that hatred and conflict should be upheld to a level that dehumanizes those that disagree with your beliefs, just to demonstrate the importance of this disagreement. Through conflict, we see excitement and intrigue in society, but as has been stated, we as a society still have values which we deem necessary to its existence, and those must be upheld.
Stumbling back to the bitter apathetic reality of the modern age, we see blind acceptance devoid of this excitement. Rebellion is not met with a passionate cry of denial, but the stony face of apathy. All cries and criticisms fall on deaf ears, and we begin to lose the excitement of humanity. Those who uphold dogmatic acceptance are not reveling in the excitement of cultural variety, but merely allowing it to exist in an isolated manner, removing its place in the larger society.
Living in a contrived systems of order forces ones animal instincts and creativity to be dormant for the sake of its own smooth operation. To live on rigid schedules, be silent for large amounts of time, and to think in a way unprescribed only makes sense in systems that humans design, and not in our fundamental nature.
"All the people need are war and factories", they shout from a safe room, avoiding their own traps.
The power in these ideas comes from a rejection of an
Lost as we often are, in questions of worth and meaning that seem to define this age of
As so many philosophers assert, those who are perceptive and critical tend to lose themselves in seas of self hatred and obscurity of their own selves(gay science something).